You are not special….

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There are some people who just live life as it comes and go with the flow. Nothing anyone says or does matters to them. They fall into things and live by what comes in life. There are no purpose or plans to their lives.

Then there are some people like me who think we are special because we are an only child and have been treated like princes/princesses whilst we were children and think that everything we do and say should matter. ( This is not related to only children)

One of my friends who is an only child was flabbergasted when the guy she was seeing for marriage wouldn’t bend his rules and ideals for her. He decided to give up on her and she was shocked as to how he wouldn’t give her any more importance. Not as much as she gave him. She was ready to compromise on her rules but he just wouldn’t. They were not dating but seeing each other for a modern version of arranged marriage where you date a little  and start to like each other enough to want to get married as opposed to your parents actively searching and deciding for you.

That’s when I realised she thinks she is special because her parents who love her and her friends who know her so well think highly of her and give her all the attention she needs. But to the world she is just another person. All that she has strived for in her life and achieved means nothing to anyone who doesn’t know her or just knows her for a little while.

And that’s when I realised that my goals just have to be about me. All the compliments I will receive  if I accomplished or achieved something are not going to be enough for all the time I slogged and sacrificed on life to get there. I have to have a feeling of achievement regardless of anyone approving it or not. If you are trying to achieve a promotion or write a book or accomplish anything in life, it has to be all for yourself. Because any amount of compliments or success is not going to give you that feeling of accomplishment unless if you approve it for yourself and that is enough. If people compliment they are going to do it once or twice and then forget. If people try to get to know you it is either because they gain something out of it or it is a short term endeavour. But if you want to keep going for something it has to be just for yourself and no one else. So stop expecting people to understand you and see you for what you are because they can’t and never reach that abyss. Just like you can’t reach theirs.

So if you have love to give, give it for yourself, if you want to accomplish things, achieve it for yourself, if you are sacrificing or compromising on the way you live, do it for yourself, if you have given up your career, ambitions and time for your children or spouse or child, give up those things for them but for yourself (with your approval) because as much as you think you might be, you are not special….

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